I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
