There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
