Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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