I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
