I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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