I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
