is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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