:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
