She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
