Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
