I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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