I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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