I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
