how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
