I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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