he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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