Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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