ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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