This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
