I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
