so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
