she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
