ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize
