so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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