hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
