we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
