I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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