just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
