just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
