Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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