So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
