I wanna passion pit in your ass
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
