i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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