I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Boobs are out for the taking
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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