somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize