i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
