Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
