just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
