so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
