If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
birth control should be required to get into college
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
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