So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize