We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
