But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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