2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
