2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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