i don't like sucking hair
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
