theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
