i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Sext me about skeletons
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
