he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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