YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
