So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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