She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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