we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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