it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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